So, we have all been faced with life and death at one point or another, but usually there is a distraction that will allow me to disconnect so as not to feel too much pain. In this case I was unable to. It's not that I can't find a distraction to help me out, but when you have had such a big part of your life blessed by certain people, it seems that the only feeling that you can feel is a broken heart.
I have just learned that my grandma has finally been called back and her journey on this earth has come to an end. I really feel that death is the hardest on the living. I can't help but to feel a little selfish that I wanted her to stay here until my journey was over, but because of our LDS faith we know that her journey has just begun. We should be rejoicing that she can finally hear the Master's voice say Welcome Home. So why do I feel so much pain? I feel no regret while she was on this earth. I spent every bit of free time at her house as a child, learning from her example while she helped mold me into the person that I am today. I just wish that I could have seen her once more before she left. I love the influence that she had on me while on this earth. All the times that I would get a call from my "horse" saying that she was lonely and thirsty back in my Grandma's and Grampa's pasture and how she would love to have a visit. How she saved me whenever I didn't dare go to my parents with my problems, and that she never said no when we would ask if we could have sleep-overs with cousins. I love all the songs and games that we learned while we were there. I don't think we even watched T.V. the whole time. Can you imagine having little kids running around for two days without the escape of t.v.? We never had a problem finding things to do while we were there, even if it was doing the dishes or cleaning the cupboards.
Life is a funny thing. No matter what condition your earthly body is in, there is always a perfect spirit trying to get back home.
I'm gonna miss you "Grama Gum"! Welcome Home!